Nearly All the Men in Lagos Are Mad

• Author: Damilare Kuku
• Genre: Short Stories
• Publication Date: March 19, 2024
• Publisher: HarperVia

Thank you to NetGalley and HarperVia for providing me with an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

A collection of short stories, structured as case-studies, and a form of love letter in solidarity with the women who have survived romantic relationships with men in Lagos….it deftly analyses the various archetypes women are likely to encounter in the dating scene in the city – from serial cheaters, to mummy’s boys, from the ‘fake it till you make it’ adherents to the ones who can’t commit.

This book underscores with wit, humour, wisdom, and sensitivity the perils of trying to find lasting love and companionship in Africa’s craziest city that will prove universal and illuminating.

I always love learning more about different cultures, and books that offer a window into the daily life of people is a wonderful way for me to learn more about that culture. This was part of why I was so interested in reading this book, and it certainly gave me some new insight into Nigerian dating culture and how it relates to the culture I was raised in.

Since this story takes place in Lagos, Nigeria, it shouldn’t be surprising to discover that there is dialogue throughout these short stories that is in Nigerian Pidgin. I don’t know much about Nigerian culture or Nigerian Pidgin, and my knowledge is limited to the few books that are written by Nigerian authors that I’ve read, so I had some difficulty understanding the meaning. However, since I was so late reading this one, I checked the audiobook out of my library as well, and listening to it while reading made it not only a lot easier to understand, but the narrators were fantastic and made the read incredibly enjoyable. 

There are twelve short stories in this collection, and each one of them pertains to a relationship in Lagos. I got more into some stories than others, but each of them held my attention and kept me interested. Two of Kuku’s strengths were her ability to fully develop characters in a short story format, and have the story never feel rushed or unfinished, no matter the length. Those are usually my two biggest complaints when reading short stories, and I didn’t have any issues in this collection. 

The title of the book is somewhat misleading, however. It led me to believe that this was going to be a bunch of dating horror stories, with men acting badly in each one. What the book actually turned out to be was a collection of stories about relationships, with both men and women acting badly—the author made it a point to also show women acting out, so not just the men were mad. The men featured in the stories vary from mama’s boys to men who can’t keep it in their pants, from men who are married and cheating in secret to men who lie about major things, and the women don’t communicate their expectations, and make awful choices. I did enjoy how complex and multilayered the characters were, even the side characters, which isn’t easy to do in a short story. 

Overall, this was a fantastic group of short stories, and this is coming from someone who generally doesn’t enjoy short stories. I actually didn’t realize this was a group of short stories when I requested it, and I’m glad I didn’t notice, because I might have missed out on this book. It felt very equitable in its treatment of men and women. I wasn’t surprised to realize how universal and relatable this felt in terms of dating, having experienced many similar situations to the ones in the book—who in our society hasn’t experienced being lied to or cheated on by a partner? I’m guessing it’s not a large percentage, and it made me realize that no matter where we live, dating seems to be the same and come with the same pitfalls. The story doesn’t include any LGBTQ+ relationships, which makes sense, since Nigeria has laws against queer relationships and transgender expression, but it still made me curious about what dating is like for LGBTQ+ people in Nigeria. But there are some triggers to be aware of when reading this book—there are themes of infidelity, infertility, and toxic relationships. And Kuku does a wonderful job with all of these stories, solidifying her reputation as a debut author to be aware of.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links, and I may earn a small commission at no cost to you if you purchase through my links.