When We’re Born We Forget Everything

• Author: Alicia Jo Rabins
• Genre: Memoir
• Publication Date: March 3, 2026
• Publisher: Schocken

Thank you to Schocken for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

AN UNCONVENTIONAL TALE OF SPIRITUAL SELF-INVENTION REFRACTED THROUGH FEMINIST RETELLINGS OF THE LIVES OF BIBLICAL WOMEN.

As a self-described ‘90s suburban high school weirdo, Alicia Jo Rabins spent her time practicing violin and smoking cigarettes behind the mall while secretly dreaming of setting out on a spiritual quest no one around her seemed to understand. She often found herself drawn to the more ritualistic and rigorous Judaism that her parents had abandoned to “become American.” In college, a chance meeting led her on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem to study rabbinical texts (and play bluegrass fiddle on the street for cash)d. But that two years of immersing herself in traditional observance was only the start of a journey full of twists and turns.

When We’re Born We Forget Everything follows Alicia’s relentless, often embarrassing, sometimes enlightening search of the sacred in everyday life as she tours America playing with a klezmer-punk band, falls in and out of love, scrapes through the initiations of motherhood, and witnesses the beauty—and danger—of mysticism. Rabins braids this personal narrative with the hidden stories of biblical women, uncovering a path of queer identity, feminist awakening, and spiritual self-invention. This lyrical, searching memoir is a meditation on longing, lineage, and what it takes to find meaning in a fractured world.

In recent years, I have been consciously choosing to read more books written by Jewish authors in all different genres. But I have a soft sport for memoirs. By nature, these books offer a direct look into someone’s lived experiences and thoughts and they can be funny, interesting, shocking, inspiring, and draw various emotions from the readers. I was already prepared to love this based on the summary, but I had no idea how deeply this memoir was going to resonate with me.

I’m only a few years younger than the author, and we both grew up in ‘90s suburbia not too distantly, although I was lucky enough to grow up in an area with a lot of other Jewish people. Reading this felt like reliving my own teen and young adult years and seeing what could have happened if my life had gone in a different direction—I found a real sense of being seen on these pages, and it led me to identify quite deeply with Rabins.

While reading, it felt like there was one constant that stayed present through all the different stages of Rabins’ life—her violin, and it opened all sorts of doors for her creativity to flow through. Going from classical training and learning how to fiddle and busk always left her with an outlet to grow through even as she journeys to find a spiritual outlet. Despite a secular upbringing, Rabins grew closer to her Jewish faith, only really learning about it as a teen, but then she went in a completely different direction. Living her own type of Eat, Pray, Love experience, her path took her to Jerusalem, living a strictly observant life while studying our sacred texts.

While the journey was one that would have had me engrossed anyway, I was even more blown away by the author’s ability to weave information from our sacred texts and not only make it interesting, she’s able to present it through a distinctly feminist lens. I liked getting to know about Rabins and her life, but I loved learning more about her spirituality, mysticism, and how she practices Judaism. 

Overall, this was an outstanding memoir and might just be my favorite book of the year. It’s a story that reminds the reader that we are constantly inventing and reinventing ourselves and learning more about who we are, and that it is possible to live a life where so many different experiences accumulate and guide us. I loved so much about this book that it’s hard to pick a specific thing I liked best, but I thoroughly enjoyed the strong sense of nostalgia for growing up in the ‘90s, the hope that is maintained throughout her journey, and her continued openness to new opportunities and experiences. I honestly couldn’t find anything that I didn’t love about this book, and highly recommend it.

Bottom line: A memoir that focuses on learning, growing, and finding your own way to practice Judaism in such a fast-paced, constantly changing world full of conflicting messages. 

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